Archive for the ‘Atlanta Antics’ Category

Am I a Cougar?

Well, now that I have your attention.  I don’t REALLY question whether or not I’m a cougar, but it DOES seem like the cute, successful younger guys have been coming out of the woodwork lately.  (Am I right?  Or just getting older?)  One in particular who was way under, um, my age limit brought this to light, and Sully and I discussed the deets on last Friday’s podcast, as well the BIG NEWS about Sunday alcohol sales in Georgia (ie. our “coming out of the dark ages” party is within sight), and my last-minute decision to attempt the Georgia half-marathon sans training (see post below).

Click to listen HERE!

What…am I thinking?

Sometimes, late at night, when my 4 primary life advisors (Kate, Chesley, Cory and Mom) are asleep (or, um, busy), I am forced to make decisions on my own that I would typically consult one or all of them on.  Last night was one of those nights.

A friend told me he had an extra number for the Georgia Marathon THIS Sunday and (jokingly?) said I should do it.  I used to do about 99% of the things people challenged me to do, but ever since that naked-in-the-W-Hotel-lobby-covered-in-chocolate-sauce incident, I’ve taken more caution when making decicions based on challenges.

Ok, so there was never any naked-in-the-W incident.  At least not in the lobby.

But, I do think about things a little more carefully before saying “F*ck it, I’ll do it!” these days.  Just to update you on my running status, I DID run the Georgia half-marathon 2 years ago.  Ever since then, I think 6 miles has been my max and my longest distance in about the last year has been…wait for it….5 miles.  F.I.V.E.

So, yeah, the marathon was out.  But, could I do the half?  13.1 miles?  From 5 miles to 13?  Had anyone ever done it?  I mean, I’m sure people have DONE it, but they probably ended up walking, ran a couple miles, walked a couple, blah blah blah.  And, I just can’t roll like that.  To me, a race means running.  Call me crazy.

I checked out the course and noticed that it goes right by my house at mile 6.  Interesting.  I could just run home if it was too much.  I know what you’re thinking: Oh, really Ashley?  You’ll knock walking to get to the finish line, but would quit halfway through? Hey, no one ever said my standards were normal.

So, I agreed to it.  And, I’m pretty sure my advisory board would have encouraged the same thing (although they probably would have told me to do the full, so maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t consult them).  I’m already thinking about what miracle performance gear I’m going to buy, how I need to attempt a before-midnight bedtime on Saturday, and the superfoods I’m going to seek out for the night before and morning of.  If you feel like coming out and cheering me on (or poking fun, whichever), check out the course map.  But, I would advise picking a spot on the route before mile 7.  Juuuuust in case.
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Baby Not On Board

My dog Dewey and I were out for a walk, just like any normal day, when we came up behind a little lady with a stroller. Since she was walking slow and I like to walk fast, I passed her on the right, and just like Dewey always does, he peeked into her stroller, hoping for a baby he could sniff. (Contrary to popular belief, he DOES like babies; unruly children, not so much).

But it was NOT a baby in the stroller. Oh f*ck!, I thought, as I pulled Dewey away from the non-baby situation as quickly as possible.  We were close to home, so I ran up to my apartment, dumped him off, grabbed my phone and rushed back down, sure the little old lady had barely reached my apartment at the pace she was crawling along.  But, she was almost a block ahead of my apartment!  What the..?  Did she break into a sprint when I wasn’t looking?!

I thought quick: Was it worth it?  Am I a bad person? The answers: Yes.  And, probably.  I jogged up to her, acted like I was passing her again, then stole a glance behind me and pretended to stop in my tracks.

“That is the cutest thing!  Do you mind if a get a picture?”

“Of course!” she said.  Then she proceeded to step away, which was disappointing because I wanted her in the photo.  You win some, you lose some.

“Smile!” she cooed to the stroller.  Yep.  She said that.

I crouched down, zoomed in…and CLICK.  Got it.

cat stroller

Then, I patted it on the head juuuust to make sure it was real.  It was.  Then, I got a slightly closer shot, well…just because.  Then, I posted it on Twitter, it got re-tweeted by @Scoutmob and currently has more than 1,150 views.

I hope I see this lady again in the summertime because I don’t know how she’s going to keep that kitty strapped in without wrapping him up in a blanket.  Will he be wearing a bikini?  A sarong?  A floppy straw hat?  I wouldn’t be surprised.

Honestly though, I really only have one thing to say about all this.

Meow.

Bachelor Finale: The Official Hesseltime Recap

Well, the finale of The Bachelor: SEASON MOTHER FREAKING 15 was last night.  Kate and I have been watching religiously and both agree it has been our favorite season yet.  We won’t bore you with the details of why we feel this way because, A. If you don’t watch the show, you don’t give a $hit and, B. If you do watch the show, then you already know why this season was so amazing.  And by amazing, I mean….amazzzzing.  Ahhhhh-mazing! A. Maze. Ing.

(According to Jimmy Kimmel, girls on the show say “amazing” 8-14 times an episode.)

Anyway, Emily took home the rose and the ring.  Big shocker there.  A Barbie lookalike with a heart of gold? With girls like her out there, none of us stand a chance.  Chantal, the token fiesty brunette got sent home in tears, but word on the street is that she’s dating someone new now!  But, let’s be honest; that’s how us fiesty brunettes do.  Brad Schmad.  He wasn’t funny anyway.  But, he was hot.  Amaaaazingly hot.

With no further adieu, here’s my video recap of last night’s events.  Watch as my hair gets messier throughout the 2-hour period.  Let’s hope that’s not happening on dates and if it is, no wonder I haven’t gotten any roses lately.

Podcast Blast

Sully of Dave FM and I are back at it!   No, I don’t mean we’re hooking up (you guys and your dirty minds, I swear), but just that we got the ol’ podcast up and running again.

betty white snl radio

I’m sharing the latest we did last week and the 2 before that in case you’re interested in hearing us talk about sex and dating, social media, City of Atlanta being the fun police, how sick of Charlie Sheen we are, and much more. If you think my laugh is annoying, you might not want to listen. And, you can also go eff yourself.

First up:
1. Guys are the clingy ones these days! What….is up with that? Also, take our “quiz” to see if you are indeed…a Stage 5 clinger.
2. Who’s the next celeb to go off the deep end, Charlie Sheen style?
3. Sully shaves his head for a cause. ‘Nuff said.
Listen HERE!

Previous:
1. How soon should you text after a first date?  Should the girl even text first?
2. City of Atlanta shut down 2 awesome street food vendors.  Way to be lame, guys.
3. Listen HERE!

Even more previous:
1. Studies say texting/social media is leading to sex sooner!  AWESOME!  Or not?
2. Atlanta may get out of the dark ages and allow Sunday alcohol sales.  Sully updates us on booze in the news.
3. I announce my position as the new editor of DailyCandy Atlanta.  Woot!
Listen HERE!

Genuine thanks to everyone who listens!  And, ideas for topics are always welcome, so send ‘em if you have ‘em!

Happy Birthday Dewey!

I realize I haven’t blogged since December 14.  That. Is. Just. Pathetic.  And, don’t worry….I’m going to address that…later.  You see, procrastinating is an art form, folks, and I hope one day you are able to master it as well as I’ve done in regards to this blog.  In the meantime, I had to give Dewey a dedicated blog post for his birthday-slash-our-anniversary.  Two years ago, I brought him home after he was found roaming our neighborhood simply to “foster” him for a few days.  Yeah. Effing. Right.  He was mine the second he walked in the door, and ever since, he has brought me nothing but joy, more joy, aaaaand, even more joy.  Coincidentally….Joy is my middle name.

Since I don’t know how old he is, I decided he was one year old the day I got him and that’s why his birthday doubles as our anniversary.  I’ve never made it past 6 months with any guy before, so this is quite…a milestone.  Also, since he’s 3 today, that is 21 in people years, so you can guess what we’ll be doing tonight.  Bring on the Salty Dogs.

I bought Dewey his very own iPaw for his birthday, which is like an iPad, but it has a bigger screen and keys for his paws.  I also pre-downloaded Angry Cats on it for him, which is like Angry Birds…but with cats.

He was so excited that this is what happened.  Happy Friday, loyal readers.  I would turn up the sound on this one.

Turkey Tiiiime!

It’s Thanksgiving – the day when we reflect on all that we’re thankful for.  I’m thankful for, of course, my family, friends, my dog,  and my health, but there are a lot of other things I’m thankful for.  Like Kellan Lutz’s abs.

I’m currently gathering major material for my post-Thanksgiving blog entry (I swear!) including a trip to one of the most infamous strip clubs in the country (besides the Clermont, of course).

In the meantime, take a listen to the latest podcast I did with Sully of Dave FM (please?).  We talk about TSA fondling (total BS, by the way), a party that I missed last night (ps: Big Boi showed up and did a surprise performance), aaaand, my knowledge (or lack thereof) of Delaware history.  And, history in general.  It’s my favorite podcast we’ve done so far.  Although, we have only done 3.  Click HERE to listen, then click on PLAY.

CHEERS and Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Full Mooning

Here I go again, slackin’ on my bloggin’.  I’ve just been soooo busy (don’t you HATE when people say that?).

Anyway, just a quick note in case you’re looking for the party of the CENTURY tomorrow night (ok, so maybe just the party of the month…or at least the week).  Liza and I will be hosting a Full Moon party at the W Buckhead in honor of….wait for it…the full moon.  This will be the 3 Wolf Moon edition and if you have no idea what I’m talking about, you MUST listen to my podcast.  This 6 minutes of hot mess-ness also features open discussion about sex addiction and how unattractive, fat dudes can get laid by the power of a tee shirt.

Click HERE and then click on the PLAY button.  It’s so easy…and so worth it.  At least, I hope so.

And, let me know if you’d like to attend the Full Moon 3 Wolf Moon extravaganza tomorrow and I’ll put you on my guest list.  Liza and I will have bottles of liquor to spread around (while supplies last) and there will be free moon pies given out (mmmm moon pies).

Actual mooning is optional, but encouraged….and could get you arrested.  So, do it at your own risk.

Podcasting: 40s, Elvis and Break-up Season

Apparently…I’m a podcaster (is that a word?).  Take a quick listen to what I had to say on 3 very important topics in my chat with Sully of 92.9 Dave FM.

1) Chicks drinking 40′s – hot or not?

2) A cool Elvis tribute band playing in Virginia Highland Friday.

3) Mashable says it’s officially “break up season”.

Click HERE to listen.

*That’s not me in the picture.

(Almost) Dead on Arrival

Something horrible happened this Halloween.  I  know what you’re thinking.  Oh, Ashley, I’m sure you just took too many tequila shots, lost your car or forgot a step to the Single Ladies dance just like any other night.

But, this was worse.

This Halloween….my girlfriends and I got attacked.  And, I don’t mean by a frat-type guy who had too much to drink and started grabbing our asses at the bar.  And, I don’t mean by a group of angry homeless people on the rough streets of Buckhead.  It was more gruesome.  More bloody.  More…fatal.

We got attacked…..BY A SHAAAARRRRKKK!!!

There we are.  Just a pile of bloody bodies while the SHARK swims above his wreckage.  Right before this, we were just happily surfing along on our mini surf boards…when we saw him approach!

Why are you already bloody?, you ask.  Don’t worry about that.  What are you, some sort of crime scene investigator?

After he mauled us at the pre-party, just doing enough damage that we were still able to make it to BOOnanza at Buckhead Theatre, he resurfaced and attacked again!

Hey, jackasses working the door:  thanks a lot.

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Ok, ok, the jig is up.  Those were just our costumes.  We didn’t really get attacked.

I DO have to take credit for the costume idea, but can’t deny that I drew inspiration from our 2008 costumes, where Andrea made Thad (aka the SHARK, who was then her boyfriend and is now her husband), accompany us in our “runners struck by lightning” theme.

Yes, Thad was the lightning bolt, complete with “cloud”  on his head, and notice the “rain” coming down from his arms.  THIS one was Andrea’s idea.  Maybe it’s the fact that her and I have spent every Halloween together for the past 7  years that explains how we’ve become so in sync with Halloween costume ideas that involve us looking like a dirty/bloody mess and forcing her significant other to wear a stupid costume.  Or maybe it’s the fact that we’re so anti- sexy nurse, kitten, cop, school girl, etc. costumes that we feel the need to take it to the other extreme.  Whatever it is, we plan to keep them coming.

Hopefully some pro athlete will impregnate a bunch of women next year and we can all go as his baby mamas.  Or maybe a zoo tiger will maul his handler and we can play off of that.  Ok, so I hope that doesn’t happen.

Until next year….

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