How to Get Over Being DUMPED

Yeah, getting dumped sucks, but in the end, it’s usually for the best. I came up with this little inspirational saying: “You turned out to be the best thing I never had. And I’m gonna’ always be the best thing you never had. I bet it sucks to be you right now.”

Ok, so that’s actually from a Beyonce song. But whatever.

I’ve been dumped a time or two. Or 17. I would have to say the TOP 3 were:

1. Getting dumped on Valentine’s Day in high school. I had ordered the guy his fave chocolates from California (with my hard-earned babysitting money!) and you better believe I ate every. last. one. And cried.

2. The guy I was (sorta’) dating broke the news he was going into the Peace Corps while he was visiting me at the beach. He left immediately after, I walked into my beach house, burst into hysterical tears (like, someone-just-died tears) and my cousin and my best friend basically laughed in my face. Then we went out drinking.

3. I was texting with a guy during the day about an upcoming weekend trip and he said we needed to have a talk first….later that night. Which means I had to wait around all day to get dumped. So that was fun.

Don’t feel that sorry for me (not that you were anyway), but I’ve done my fair share of dumping. Let me rephrase that. I’ve done my fair share of ignoring/phasing out a dude until he gets the hint. But this blog post isn’t about that. It’s about what to do when you get dumped. There are FIVE surefire ways for ladies to get over guys when they get dicked over. Some of these may even work for guys (the last one, in particular).

Have I done all of these?

Duh. How else would I know they work?

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2 Responses to “How to Get Over Being DUMPED”

  1. Allison Rizk says:

    I saw something on the marketing stuff of “A Social Mess” about getting dumped and then seeing your ex canoodling (isn’t that word only for paparazzi? Can I use it?) with some other hoochie on FB. Um, that was my life and where was that article when I was single? Good stuff, Ash!

  2. Bill says:

    1- That’s a lie. We all know black people don’t eat chocolate.

    2- Didn’t he puss out from going into the Peace Corps?

    3- Oh.

    PS- you forgot the New Years Eve dump.