Halloween 3rd Stop: The Taco of Twist

We pulled up to Twisted Taco and my nervous excitement of having to perform the Single Ladies dance set in…so I headed straight to the bar.  Lis was ‘tending, so she hooked me up with doozy of a cocktail, which I may or may not have kept refilling throughout the night from a flask that I may or may not have had in my purse.

It was chilly out, and I WAS wearing a leotard, but once I felt the full liquid jacket close in around me,  I was ready to go.  I asked the DJ to play Single Ladies and motioned to my outfit.  I think he got the hint.  A couple songs later, I heard the familiar tune over the speakers and moved right into the middle of the crowd.  And they actually made a circle around me.  It was now or never.

I don’t think people realized that I actually took the time to learn these moves.  I think they thought I was going to do a couple booty shakes, maybe half-ass one or two moves from the video and call it a day…er, night.  But, that’s not how I roll.  If you could have seen me in front of my laptop the day before, awkwardly attempting each move until I mastered it, you would have thought, “wow, that girl is dedicated…and looks like a total jackass.”  And you would have been right.

Once people realized that I wasn’t kidding around and I was going to do this dance from start to finish, the cameras started coming out.   After all, Single Ladies was “one of the best videos of all time.”  Jim grabbed a snippet on his phone, but it’s a little hard to see.  However, you can hear by the screams that it was a crowd pleaser.

I usually don’t toot my own horn, but in this case:  HOOOOONK HOOOOONK!  The rush of performing in front of a crowd coupled with being, well, pretty drunk ,was exhilarating.  I felt like a true dancer.  But…my accessories paid the price throughout the night as I pretty much danced everywhere I went.  Take a look at the wreckage of my favorite shoes:

IMG00466Yes…the strap is missing.  Which is a pretty crucial element for Mary Janes.

Also, my Hooters pantyhose took a beating.

IMG00474Don’t…even ask.

So, there you have it.  Halloween 2K9.  A trip to Hooters, completing a succesful undercover investigation, receiving cheers and applause from total strangers and ripped pantyhose.  Oh, and I ate a whole Dijiorno pizza by myself when I got home.  Overall, a successful Halloween.

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5 Responses to “Halloween 3rd Stop: The Taco of Twist”

  1. hollis says:

    Hahahaha! Ashley, you restore my faith in fucking humanity.

  2. [...] 2. “Single Ladies” won for Song of the Year…..and I stopped holding my breath.  I loved this song from the first time I heard it, but ever since I dressed up as Bey for Halloween, learned the Single Ladies dance and then performed it in front of a crowd at Twisted Taco, it’s had a whole new importance in my life.  Here’s proof. [...]

  3. [...] The night was a blast, but like any other night when I try to do a sexy dance, my outfit pays the price (see:  Halloween pantyhose). [...]

  4. [...] that I WAS surprised when one of the mothers, Brynee, who was sitting next to me, caught wind of my Beyonce moves and challenged me to a dance-off, Single Ladies-style!  What?!  Not to say that mothers [...]

  5. [...] the ego part.  I’m not really that cocky.  Except about some things, which mostly involve dancing, drinking and beer chugging contests (I won an iPod in a beer chugging contest against 3 men on [...]