Drinks, Dinner & Dessert in the Dirty

My best friend Cory (get to know her HERE and HERE) came down from Wilmington, Delaware for her annual Southern visit last weekend.  I reflected on the other times she’d visited and realized that: A) I had never taken her to a true Southern restaurant to eat (although we’ve probably hit up every Mexican place in town) or  B) really shown her a wild time in Atlanta (last time she visited, we went to Seaside, the time before that, we ran a half-marathon).  It was time to step it up and give her a true taste of the dirty South.  Literally.

So, we had drinks, dinner, and, um, let’s just call it “dessert.”  You’ll see what I mean.

First up: WHIPPETS.  No, I’m not talking about a balloon filled with nitrous oxide.  For the record, I did do one of those in summer of 2K2 (sorry, mom and dad) but that’s not the point here.  These Whippets are different – it’s a shot of Pinnacle Whipped Cream vodka dropped in Whynatte, Atlanta’s own chocolaty delicious coffee energy drink.  Whynatte has even produced some special cups for this liquid amazing-ness and I was lucky enough to have some on hand at my apartment.  It was go time.

It’s scary how easy they do down.  On Friday night, after we took these shots, I realized I had no other liquor in my house besides the whipped cream vodka, so I made a Whippet cocktail to sip on.  As in, I just mixed the vodka and Whynatte in a glass.   So, that works, too.

Next up: DINNER.  I brought Cory to my favorite restaurant in the city, which also happens to be my next door neighbor: Wisteria. And, in true boyfriend style, I ordered for her.  Pimento cheese deviled eggs and Southern Fried Okra to start, and we’d share the Skate wing over stone ground grits for our entree.  It was a true Southern eat-off and Cory loved every minute of it.

The deviled eggs:

Cory’s mobile upload of the skate (which mildly translates into a form of stingray):

We couldn’t help but sing “Awww skate skate skate skate skate” in true Lil Jon/Yin Yang Twins fashion while we devoured our meal.  We’re just hood like that.

Intro to Southern food: complete.  We met up with Kate and Tope, hit up Sound Table and Noni’s because we love those places (and also, so Cory could get a glimpse of Atlanta’s finest street dwellers on Edgewood) and then, it was time for dessert…..

At the Clermont.

The Clermont Lounge is arguably Atlanta’s most famous landmark (but, who’s arguing?).  Sure, people call it “the place where strippers go to die,” but I think that’s a little morbid.  I prefer to call it “the place where your grandma could making a living showing her T&A.”

Kate’s “friend,” who we will refer to as “Edward,” was also in town and we wanted to introduce both of these out-of-towners to the infamous Lounge.  We walked in, grabbed a drink at the bar while taking in the plus-size stripper dancing on the “main stage,” then decided on a table in the corner.  And, that’s when Little Bo Peep approached us.  And by that, I mean, a not-so-little 64-year-old stripper in a Little Bo Peep outfit.  We asked her how much for a dance, she said “20 in the garter,” and Cory whipped out a bill before Edward could even protest.  Bo Peep slid Kate and Edward”s chairs together so they could both enjoy the show, then bent right over so her frilly skirt flew up and her 64-year-old ass was right in Edward”s face.  And, then she slapped it with both hands.  We were in the company of a true professional.

Bo Peep never got naked, but she didn’t need to.  Her next move was lifting up her skirt in the front (I had to do a double take to realize her, um, kitty cat, was on display) and asked Edward if he wanted…..

…wait for it….

…her peach cobbler.  Yup, she asked him if he wanted some of her peach cobbler while she waved her lady parts in his face.  In fact, she asked a couple times.  Little Bo Peep, or rather, Little Bo PEACH had a signature move and signature line and she wasn’t afraid to use it.

After a couple more ass slaps and peach cobbler offers, the dance was over.  Phew.

We had had our share of peach cobbler for the night.

And, that’s how you experience Atlanta, folks.

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Deviled eggs photo courtesy of Wisteria.

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2 Responses to “Drinks, Dinner & Dessert in the Dirty”

  1. Jesse says:

    If we all admit that this is the best blog in the universe, is it then fair to say that this is the best post in the universe?

  2. [...] (I swear!) including a trip to one of the most infamous strip clubs in the country (besides the Clermont, of [...]