(Almost) Dead on Arrival

Something horrible happened this Halloween.  I  know what you’re thinking.  Oh, Ashley, I’m sure you just took too many tequila shots, lost your car or forgot a step to the Single Ladies dance just like any other night.

But, this was worse.

This Halloween….my girlfriends and I got attacked.  And, I don’t mean by a frat-type guy who had too much to drink and started grabbing our asses at the bar.  And, I don’t mean by a group of angry homeless people on the rough streets of Buckhead.  It was more gruesome.  More bloody.  More…fatal.

We got attacked…..BY A SHAAAARRRRKKK!!!

There we are.  Just a pile of bloody bodies while the SHARK swims above his wreckage.  Right before this, we were just happily surfing along on our mini surf boards…when we saw him approach!

Why are you already bloody?, you ask.  Don’t worry about that.  What are you, some sort of crime scene investigator?

After he mauled us at the pre-party, just doing enough damage that we were still able to make it to BOOnanza at Buckhead Theatre, he resurfaced and attacked again!

Hey, jackasses working the door:  thanks a lot.


Ok, ok, the jig is up.  Those were just our costumes.  We didn’t really get attacked.

I DO have to take credit for the costume idea, but can’t deny that I drew inspiration from our 2008 costumes, where Andrea made Thad (aka the SHARK, who was then her boyfriend and is now her husband), accompany us in our “runners struck by lightning” theme.

Yes, Thad was the lightning bolt, complete with “cloud”  on his head, and notice the “rain” coming down from his arms.  THIS one was Andrea’s idea.  Maybe it’s the fact that her and I have spent every Halloween together for the past 7  years that explains how we’ve become so in sync with Halloween costume ideas that involve us looking like a dirty/bloody mess and forcing her significant other to wear a stupid costume.  Or maybe it’s the fact that we’re so anti- sexy nurse, kitten, cop, school girl, etc. costumes that we feel the need to take it to the other extreme.  Whatever it is, we plan to keep them coming.

Hopefully some pro athlete will impregnate a bunch of women next year and we can all go as his baby mamas.  Or maybe a zoo tiger will maul his handler and we can play off of that.  Ok, so I hope that doesn’t happen.

Until next year….


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