Rim Job

I know this may come as a shock because of my prim-and-proper, squeaky-clean image, but….I kinda’ used to be a thug.  In college, I listened to mostly rap and hip-hop music, owned a powder blue Baby Phat velour jumpsuit, and used to drop it like it was hot at frat parties and at Overtime in Clemson like no other white girl could.  I also interned at Hot 98.1, and they called me A-Dizzle.  Although, that was only one time, and I think it was just a joke.  But, anyway…

You can imagine my excitement when my brother “outgrew” his almost-brand-new Nissan Xterra during my senior year of college and my parents decided to give it to me and get him an SUV that could accommodate his oversized frame.  The best part:  the Xterra was sitting on shiny, 20-inch rims and had 2 12-inch subwoofers in the back.  That’s right: I was rolling back down to Clemson for my last semester in a ride that could compete with the football players’.  In fact, a couple football player friends even stopped by our crib, er, apartment and gave it their seals of approval.  Gangsta.

But, let’s back up.  No offense to my brother, but who puts anything larger than a 16-inch rim on a Nissan Xterra?  It’s embarrassing, really.  If you’re going to bling out your truck, get an Escalade.  A Tahoe.  A Durango.  But, not a whip that is made for off-roading instead of blunt cruisin’.

Regardless, I still loved it so I was devastated when, a few months into the car exchange, my brother decided he wanted his shit back!  My dad “just so happened” to be driving through South Carolina for something (don’t even ask) so he decided to casually swing through Clemson and snag the goods.  I came home from school with Bridget and there was my dad.  In the parking lot of my apartment.  Taking off the rims and taking out the subwoofers.  In a one-piece mechanic’s jumpsuit.  Talk about…a car jacking.

I’m sorry, but if that happened in Compton instead of Clemson, he would have gotten arrested.  It just did not look good.

So, I was back to the factory rims and sans speakers.  It just wasn’t the same riding Downtown on Thursday night in a regular ol’ silver Xterra with nothing tricked out except for the tint.

Why am I telling you this?  Because I saw an Xterra sitting on what looked like 22s riding down Piedmont the other day.  Although I realized how ridiculous it looked, I felt a wave of nostalgia.  I wanted my 20s back.  I wanted those speakers back.  So what if I’m bumping Mumford and Sons instead of Yin Yang Twins these days?

I was stopped at a light next to the Xterra (which was HUNTER GREEN, mind you), and slyly (or what I thought was slyly) brought out my phone to snap a mobile upload.

And….BUSTED!  The driver caught me.  And so did his passenger, whose seat was so far back, he was basically looking at me from the backseat window.

“You like dem rims?!” he yelled to me.

Mother. F*ck.  I’m trying to get a picture of this dude’s car because it is just so ridiculous that he has 22s on a hunter green Xterra and now he thinks I’m admiring his ride.

“Yeah!” I yelled back.  And, then, because I couldn’t control myself: “I used to have some myself!”

Oh, yes…I did.

With that, he rode off and I was so flustered, I could barely snap a photo in time.  This is all I got.

Alright, so maybe I do like dem rims just a little bit.

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2 Responses to “Rim Job”

  1. bridget says:

    AHAHAHAH oh man do I remeber that! “Dad?! What the hell? He’s robbing me!” Oh gosh Ash I miss you like crazy! xoxox

  2. Cindy Hesseltine says:

    Ashley I don’t often hear your Dad laugh really hard, but this blog really cracked him up. Well I was laughing first and he came over and read it with me. You are hysterical!!!