My Favorite April Fool’s Joke of All Time

My mom would wake me up every April Fool’s Day when I was a little girl and tell me that I had lost my front teeth or my hair had turned green in my sleep, before I could even process what day it was.  Then, there was the time she started screaming “There’s a dead body in that trunk!” when we saw one of those fake Halloween arms hanging out of a car in the parking lot of the Blue Hen Mall.  I was too old to believe it, but my brother started crying hysterically.  It was pathetic.  And priceless.  Anyway, my love for messing with people is clearly hereditary.  Which means I’m a damn good April Foolser.  At least I used to be.

Freshman year in college, I had my mom believing that my sketchy back-home ex-boyfriend was coming down to Clemson and planning on proposing.  Senior year in college I convinced both of my parents I had driven into a flooded area on a road trip to Atlanta and my car began filling with water.  Hearing my dad scream, “She just f*cking ruined her car!  Cindy, she just DROWNED her car!!!” in the background while I talked to my mom was priceless.  And just 2 years ago, I had a hell of a lotta’ folks convinced I was engaged just by changing my status and profile pic on Facebook.

But, sophomore year took the cake.

On spring break in Key West that year, I met a local boy named Jay and I was soooo in looooooove.  Can’t you tell?

We kept in touch after that and even made plans for me to come visit again after the school year ended (which I did).  My mom knew I was smitten with this kid, so once April Fool’s rolled around, I knew I had to get her.  I decided to have her believe I had basically quit school, packed my shit up and driven down to Key West to be with Jay.

I ignored my mom’s calls on my cell phone for a couple days in hopes she would call the apartment phone (yes, we had a landline) on April Fool’s.  And, she did.  Stephanie answered and when my mom asked for me, she pretended to cover up the earpiece and whispered to Bridget, “It’s Ashley’s mom; what should we do?!”  They left her hanging on the line like that for a bit, then Bridget took over.

“Cindy, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Ashley went down to Key West to be with Jay.  She came into my room last night at 2 a.m. and said she just needed to be with him.  Her car was filled with clothes and everything else she could fit in there.”

My mom freaked, of course.  Who knows exactly what she said while I was sitting there on the couch, trying to stifle my hysterics.  Bridget continued.

“We don’t know what to do.  She has, like, 3 exams this week, too.”

That did it.  Skipping exams.  We knew it would put Cindy over the edge.  She hung up with Bridget and sprung into action.  Meanwhile, I was getting a play-by-play via Instant Message from my brother who was at home.

“Ashley, mom is freaking out.  She is running around the house.  Ohmygod, wait a minute.  She’s calling Aunt Penny.”

F*ck.  She was calling my aunt in Miami to see if she knew anything.  This….was going too far.  Exactly as it should have.

I let her freak for what I want to say was a couple hours, but it was probably only another 30 minutes.  My aunt called me after my mom called her and I had to tell her the truth (she’s way too sweet to prank), so I figured I may as well give it up before I put my mom in an early grave.

But, honestly, that’s what she gets for all those tricks she played on us as kids.  Justice…was served.

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5 Responses to “My Favorite April Fool’s Joke of All Time”

  1. Cindy Hesseltine says:

    So I guess I’m not way too sweet???? Guess we have that in common too! love you dear and Happy April Fool’s Day. Oh by the way just got your Dad. Told him someone tried to break into your apartment last night. He flipped out and said “Did she call the police?” She needs to call the police!” LOl

  2. Bridget says:

    Sorry Cindy!!! hahaha it was pretty good…How about when you and steph told me Jay was at the oh so classy Clemson Ramada!

  3. Alex says:

    Am I the high school boyfriend you are referring to?

  4. Sweet Aunt Penny says:

    Oh Ashley, thought of you today and remember that April 1st so well. Love your blogs and you too.

  5. LK says:

    That? Is hilarious.

    Your mom’s comment is even better.

    I love this blog.