Posts Tagged ‘funny story’

The Key to a Great Weekend

For Memorial Day Weekend, a group of us (8 to be exact: 4 girls, 4 guys) decided to go to Liza’s lake house (yes, that Liza…from Scoutmob).

Correction: I decided we should go to Liza’s lake house and sent her this note via email on May 13 with Natalie and Kate CC’d:
Liza, are you in town memorial day weekend? Should we go to the lake!??!!?

She was nice enough to allow it. Which is why we’ll forgive her for what happened.

Picture it: an excited group of 20- and 30-somethings caravaning up to Lake Oconee on Saturday morning, ready for a weekend of fun in the sun (and maybe other stuff like, you know, skinny dipping). We hit the grocery and liquor stores when we got into town and stocked up on major goods: eggs and sausage for breakfast, all the necessities for Kate’s Saturday night jambalaya, chicken and steak for Mike’s Sunday night dinner, cold cuts for sandwiches, ice cream, salsa, cold beer, bourbon, vodka, Sinless Margarita, you name it.

We arrived at the lake house, got all the groceries out of the car (I remember being weighed down with a bag or six), ready to put everything away, get into our suits and hit the dock when Liza realized she didn’t have the key. We laughed it off, throwing out “Oh, Liza, you would!” and “Typical Liza!” comments, figuring there was a spare¬†somewhere. Calls were made to her parents to try to locate the spare and after a few unsuccessful searches of the grill and its surrounding area, reality started to set in and all of us went on a search mission around the house mumbling various degrees of “If I were a spare key, where would I be?”

30 minutes later: no key.

Photo by Nick Tapp

At least we had semi-cold beer. And melted ice cream.

We thought an upstairs door might be open, so Mike “The Spider Monkey” Dean decided to scale the back of the house.

Photo by Andy Carlyle

Unsuccessful. But still fun to watch.

Liza’s dad finally tracked down a neighbor who had a spare. Let it be known that said neighbor didn’t have a cell phone, so her dad had to try him at three different country clubs before locating him. Must be nice to only be reachable by country club concierge. We were told he’d come by after his golf game and bring us a key, so we grabbed the beers and the Cheez-Its and headed down to the dock.

Mr. Country Club showed up a tad later than expected, but we did finally get in the house, about 1.5 hours after we had arrived. And as far as we know, all that meat and cold food was still good. Well, at least no one has gotten sick…yet.

Regardless of this minor snafu at the onset, it turned out to be an epic weekend, complete with skinny dipping (I wasn’t joking), boating, beer pong, Kate tumbling down the stairs with a full glass of bourbon, and stories that will remain in the Memorial Day Weekend 2K11 vault.

As if it need to be said, Kate and I have already approached Liza (read: invited ourselves) for 4th of July Weekend.

Someone else will be in charge of the key.


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Whooopsiiiiieeee. Sorry about that long-ass hiatus, you guys. I just got so caught up preparing for Hangout Fest and then it WAS Hangout Fest and then this whole week I had to RECOVER from Hangout Fest, so you know how it goes.

Okay, majorly lame excuses. I actually got back together with my pro wrestler ex-boyfriend and he knocked me up a couple weeks ago and we’ve been trying to figure out how to deal with that.

Just kidding. The Hangout Fest excuse was way closer to the truth.

So anyway. Hangout Fest in Gulf Shores, Alabama last weekend = the best 3.5 days of my life. Bands/artists like the Foo Fighters, Cee Lo, The Black Keys, Avett Brothers, Amos Lee, Girl Talk, etc., etc. on the mother-freaking beach. It was awesome. And we stayed in a beachfront condo instead of in a tent or some shit like I heard they do at Bonnaroo. No offense to Bonnaroo, but I think Hangout is way more my speed.

Aaaaannndddd…..we got to road trip, so you know what THAT MEANS!

Time to act like high schoolers.

I was totally on board with this. Literally. But when we stopped at Subway and a member of the other car we were caravaning with got a hold of the paint marker when we weren’t looking, THIS happened.

I mean, sure it’s hilarious and we embraced it, but do you guys KNOW what happens when dudes think there is a car full of single ladies riding around in redneck Alabama? Of course you do. And when we were stopped in traffic around the festival grounds with our windows down, it was even more interesting.

Also, I’m a little scarred from seeing THREE guys pleasuring themselves in their cars over the years (two in traffic, one sitting in his parked car right outside of Twisted Taco) so I don’t like to be involved in anything that could provoke such a thing.

Go ahead, call me a prude.

But would a prude insist we stop at this place on the way down? (I may have even asked for a job application.)

More to cum, er, come.

You guys are sick.


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